Oh it's true. It's damn true.
As he'll tell you himself, Kurt Angle is an Olympic gold medalist, and he won his medal with a broken freakin' neck. His technical prowess is unimpeachable; he is rightfully considered one of the greatest workers to ever lace up a pair of boots. But there are many professional wrestlers who possess technical bonafides, even if they are not Olympic caliber athletes. And technical skill alone won't make someone a Hall of Famer.
What elevates Kurt Angle to legendary status is his comedic timing. He's one of the funniest performers to ever work for WWE, and surprisingly, he performed the majority of his comedic work as a heel. He was that rare talent who could make an audience both laugh and boo, often at the same time.
Here are the funniest Kurt Angle moments in WWE history. If Angle showed even a glimmer of this humorous side in his current role as Raw's general manager, the crowds would go absolutely crazy.
10. You Suck!
It's become a beloved tradition for WWE audiences to chant, "You Suck!" at Kurt Angle to the rhythm of his theme music. In fact, it's become a compliment; the fans who chant it today are recognizing the impeccable heel work from his glory days.
But Angle didn't like it so much when it first started happening. It originated from the crowds themselves, but once Edge heard what they were saying, he began conducting the chants from the ramp. They got so loud that Angle started lashing out at fans.
The antagonism
9. Back When The Beast Still Smiled
I have to
Angle tries to flirt with a woman, and he ends up spitting a mouthful of milk in her face, thanks to the Beast. Angle was always willing to make himself the butt of any joke, so long as it got a laugh. And that showed an incredible amount of self-confidence and lack of ego in a locker room that also included The Rock and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
8. You're A Boy, And I'm A Man
Here's a
The best part of the segment is at the very end, when Angle gives up and slams the microphone out of frustration. Again, only Angle could have gotten away with something this embarrassing. His athletic prowess was so raw that everyone took him seriously once the bell rang.
7. Drink Your Milk, Boys
The irony of Kurt Angle's heel character was that he was a hair's difference away from an 80's era babyface. He was a squeaky clean, earnest goody two-shoes, which in another era, might have been applauded. But in the more cynical Attitude Era, these positive traits were evidence of his hopeless dorkiness. All Angle had to do was exaggerate these traits the slightest bit, and boom! He was a despicable villain.
But for one fateful night. Angle was treated with unironic love and adulation. The context: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was a turncoat heel who joined "The Alliance," a group of angry, disenchanted WCW and ECW wrestlers. One of Austin's signature moments was when he drove a beer truck to ringside and gave Vince McMahon and The Corporation a beer bath with a hose. Angle subverts that moment;
It was so silly and so hopelessly square. But the crowd roared. Drink your milk, kids, and eat your vitamins. Oh, hell yeah.
6. How Do I Look, Partner?
This was a
Austin and Angle always played well off each other because of what they represented; Angle was a caricature of a babyface from a more innocent time, and Austin was an anti-hero rather than a straight-up good guy. They both showed a complete inability to understand or identify each other. Angle wore that mini cowboy hat proudly; he didn't even realize he was being made fun of, which turned the joke back on Austin.
5. Kurt Lands An Exclusive Interview
Every now and then, the WWE video crew (which should get a raise; have you seen those incredible PPV montages?) has fun with archival footage, and splices together different video clips to comedic effect.
This is one of the best examples of that. Angle and The Rock were mired in a feud, and Angle
4. MC Angle With The Sick Flow
Angle always had a knack for copying something another, cooler wrestler was doing. He would imitate his opponent so badly and lamely that it would actually work.
Case in point? During his late WWE career feud with John Cena, Angle attempts to take on the Doctor of Thuganomics
3. Kurt Angle, American Badass
For a couple of years in the mid-00's, The Undertaker dropped the rotting zombie schtick and took on a more grounded true-to-life persona as a biker. It didn't work out too well. And in this clip, Angle mocks him by calling him "Mr. Undertaker" and
In recent shoot interviews, Angle has spoken about the mutual respect that he and the Dead Man shared with one another. Back in 2006, The Undertaker offered to lose to Angle at WrestleMania. Vince McMahon, however, immediately shot the idea down once he got wind of it.
2. I'm Just A Sexy Kurt
Shawn Michaels is also on record expressing his admiration for Angle. The Heartbreak Kid rarely prepared for specific opponents, because he knew he would be able to outlast them anyway. But for Angle? Mr. WrestleMania prepared and trained harder, out of fear that the Olympic champion would embarrass him.
Angle's feud with Michaels, which culminated at WrestleMania 21, is extremely underrated. The two men exchanged barbs, but this one, where
1. I Tear My Quad All The Time!
And finally, we come to the funniest Angle moment in WWE history. And it's so funny and so savage that it's been scrubbed from all existence.
Triple H
"Tore his quad? Big deal! I tear my quad all the time! I tore my quad this morning! I’m here. I’m jumpin’ around!"
I know he said this, because I remember hearing it, and so do lots of other WWE fans. But you can't find a clip of this quote anywhere, and believe me, I tried.
If you go on the WWE Network, where they post the old episodes of Raw, the January 7, 2002 episode is there, but the one-liner is nowhere to be found. You can even watch the segment with Christian, but it cuts short right before the joke, and the next thing you see is Booker T's entrance for the next match.
As he'll tell you himself, Kurt Angle is an Olympic gold medalist, and he won his medal with a broken freakin' neck. His technical prowess is unimpeachable; he is rightfully considered one of the greatest workers to ever lace up a pair of boots. But there are many professional wrestlers who possess technical bonafides, even if they are not Olympic caliber athletes. And technical skill alone won't make someone a Hall of Famer.
What elevates Kurt Angle to legendary status is his comedic timing. He's one of the funniest performers to ever work for WWE, and surprisingly, he performed the majority of his comedic work as a heel. He was that rare talent who could make an audience both laugh and boo, often at the same time.
Here are the funniest Kurt Angle moments in WWE history. If Angle showed even a glimmer of this humorous side in his current role as Raw's general manager, the crowds would go absolutely crazy.
10. You Suck!
It's become a beloved tradition for WWE audiences to chant, "You Suck!" at Kurt Angle to the rhythm of his theme music. In fact, it's become a compliment; the fans who chant it today are recognizing the impeccable heel work from his glory days.
But Angle didn't like it so much when it first started happening. It originated from the crowds themselves, but once Edge heard what they were saying, he began conducting the chants from the ramp. They got so loud that Angle started lashing out at fans.
The antagonism
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, where Angle has a meltdown and insists on redoing his entrance, over and over, until the fans stop chanting. Watch and appreciate how expertly Kurt plays the audience, by insulting them and begging them not to chant, which of course encourages them to do it more.9. Back When The Beast Still Smiled
I have to
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, not only because Angle and Brock Lesnar have some incredible buddy chemistry (maybe it's the shared amateur wrestling background?), but because Lesnar genuinely smiles and looks like he's enjoying himself.Angle tries to flirt with a woman, and he ends up spitting a mouthful of milk in her face, thanks to the Beast. Angle was always willing to make himself the butt of any joke, so long as it got a laugh. And that showed an incredible amount of self-confidence and lack of ego in a locker room that also included The Rock and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
8. You're A Boy, And I'm A Man
Here's a
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(starts around 3:00), where Angle tries to talk tough and ends up saying the wrong thing multiple times in a row. The brilliance here is that Angle starts his promo in full-on killer mode, which lulls the audience into a false sense of security, before it all goes to hell.The best part of the segment is at the very end, when Angle gives up and slams the microphone out of frustration. Again, only Angle could have gotten away with something this embarrassing. His athletic prowess was so raw that everyone took him seriously once the bell rang.
7. Drink Your Milk, Boys
The irony of Kurt Angle's heel character was that he was a hair's difference away from an 80's era babyface. He was a squeaky clean, earnest goody two-shoes, which in another era, might have been applauded. But in the more cynical Attitude Era, these positive traits were evidence of his hopeless dorkiness. All Angle had to do was exaggerate these traits the slightest bit, and boom! He was a despicable villain.
But for one fateful night. Angle was treated with unironic love and adulation. The context: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was a turncoat heel who joined "The Alliance," a group of angry, disenchanted WCW and ECW wrestlers. One of Austin's signature moments was when he drove a beer truck to ringside and gave Vince McMahon and The Corporation a beer bath with a hose. Angle subverts that moment;
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(starts at 4:20) and sprays Austin and The Alliance with gallons of the stuff. He finishes the segment by crushing and pouring two milk cartons over his face, Stone Cold style.It was so silly and so hopelessly square. But the crowd roared. Drink your milk, kids, and eat your vitamins. Oh, hell yeah.
6. How Do I Look, Partner?
This was a
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, and it got such a positive response that Angle repeated it at his Hall of Fame induction. It took place during one of the rare times that Austin was on good terms with Mr. McMahon. The Texas Rattlesnake got the WWE Chairman a cowboy hat as a token of friendship, and he didn't forget to get Angle a cowboy hat too.Austin and Angle always played well off each other because of what they represented; Angle was a caricature of a babyface from a more innocent time, and Austin was an anti-hero rather than a straight-up good guy. They both showed a complete inability to understand or identify each other. Angle wore that mini cowboy hat proudly; he didn't even realize he was being made fun of, which turned the joke back on Austin.
5. Kurt Lands An Exclusive Interview
Every now and then, the WWE video crew (which should get a raise; have you seen those incredible PPV montages?) has fun with archival footage, and splices together different video clips to comedic effect.
This is one of the best examples of that. Angle and The Rock were mired in a feud, and Angle
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that "proves" how The Rock conspired to run over Austin with a car. It was corny, but Angle's entire character was corny. And his faux-shock and horror at The Rock's dastardliness pushed this bit over the edge.4. MC Angle With The Sick Flow
Angle always had a knack for copying something another, cooler wrestler was doing. He would imitate his opponent so badly and lamely that it would actually work.
Case in point? During his late WWE career feud with John Cena, Angle attempts to take on the Doctor of Thuganomics
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(starts at 5:10). Everything about the bit--the tilted hat, the terrible punchlines, and the beatboxing referee--is incredibly cringeworthy. And yet somehow, it works, and Angle gets the crowd completely on his side.3. Kurt Angle, American Badass
For a couple of years in the mid-00's, The Undertaker dropped the rotting zombie schtick and took on a more grounded true-to-life persona as a biker. It didn't work out too well. And in this clip, Angle mocks him by calling him "Mr. Undertaker" and
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.In recent shoot interviews, Angle has spoken about the mutual respect that he and the Dead Man shared with one another. Back in 2006, The Undertaker offered to lose to Angle at WrestleMania. Vince McMahon, however, immediately shot the idea down once he got wind of it.
2. I'm Just A Sexy Kurt
Shawn Michaels is also on record expressing his admiration for Angle. The Heartbreak Kid rarely prepared for specific opponents, because he knew he would be able to outlast them anyway. But for Angle? Mr. WrestleMania prepared and trained harder, out of fear that the Olympic champion would embarrass him.
Angle's feud with Michaels, which culminated at WrestleMania 21, is extremely underrated. The two men exchanged barbs, but this one, where
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and prances his way to the ring, is by far the funniest. He even brings Michaels' old manager, Sensational Sherri, to the ring with him. This was actually one of Sherri's last on-camera appearances in WWE; she died of a drug overdose in 2007.1. I Tear My Quad All The Time!
And finally, we come to the funniest Angle moment in WWE history. And it's so funny and so savage that it's been scrubbed from all existence.
Triple H
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; he tore his quad entirely off the bone. The show built to his triumphant return for two hours. And for the entire show, Kurt Angle is ranting to anyone in earshot backstage, complaining that he doesn't see the big deal. While complaining to Christian, Angle unleashes the funniest barb while jumping up and down:"Tore his quad? Big deal! I tear my quad all the time! I tore my quad this morning! I’m here. I’m jumpin’ around!"
I know he said this, because I remember hearing it, and so do lots of other WWE fans. But you can't find a clip of this quote anywhere, and believe me, I tried.
If you go on the WWE Network, where they post the old episodes of Raw, the January 7, 2002 episode is there, but the one-liner is nowhere to be found. You can even watch the segment with Christian, but it cuts short right before the joke, and the next thing you see is Booker T's entrance for the next match.
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